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Dear Guest,

I invite you to add your comments and ask questions for the Spirit Coach. Please return in a couple of days to find my answer to your questions.

Namaste, Kathi


Date: 6/5/2004; 11:13:59 AM
Guest: Cheryl
Subject: Help!

Hi Kathi, I was reading your website today and I a very interested in Spiritual Coaching. I feel that I am stuck in a rut and can't seem to move forward to accomplish my dreams or live my life. I wlll be 60yrs old in a couple of weeks
and I am still trying to find out who I am and where I belong. I feel I am self sabatouging my self and my life. I feel there is something in my past life that I need to correct because I keep making mistakes over and over again and I wnat deperately to grow and move on. I know I am aspiritual being and have spiritual gifts but so many interests I am lost. I want to be part of a spiritual support group that can help me realize my dreams.
Is ther something I can do?
Cheryl


Date: 4/6/2004; 8:21:21 PM
Guest: Danijela
Subject: Now What?

   Dear Spirit Coach,

  As a 25 years old i feel like i am a hundred. Even people that old have more desire to live then i do.  I have job that i don't like.  I am in school that is not what I thought will be and want to quit but feel so quilty about it. Even more because i know my mother will say:" i knew you're not gonna finish it".  Because she always know everything and it is always in " black" color, there is not space for white or any other color.  
  Used to have a lot friends, smile on the face and enjoy meeting new people.  Now - lonely, isolated, no friends, no boyfriend...  For four years, how long i have been here, I live my life as a robot, avoiding people, run away from those who liked me and now i don't know how to get back to who i used to be? Don't know how to connect with other people? English is not a problem anymore.  
  Fact is I don't know where to start, what to do to get my life in order and make it better?

Thank You!
Danijela


Date: 9/22/2003; 8:36:49 PM
Guest: Barbara
Subject: Quality of life

Dear Kathi,

I am currently caregiver for my elderly mother, who has an ostomy as a result of her 4th bout with cancer.  Her physical recovery has been miraculous but mentally, she "appears" to have deteriorated. Her short term memory is undependable, dementia is intermittent, and where she was once fiercely independent she now tries to control me to keep me in attendance 24/7 out of fear of aloneness.  

My greatest fear was always the premonition I had that I would wind up being responsible for her care in her later years, and so it is.  I vacillate between feeling trapped and angry and feeling glad to be of comfort to her.  My sister is little or not help, seemingly deliberately trying to exacerbate the stress inherent in this arrangement, offering only to relieve me 4 days a month, at her convenience.  I am explosive with my mother sometimes, the stress level of dealing with the emotional dynamics of the situation of Mom/not Mom and virtually no help from my sister or her family (divorced, I have no children) is horrific, and I don't seem to be able to "get a handle" on allowing the situation simply to flow. I do forgive my   too-frequent short temper, but I feel I am going backwards spiritually, disliking myself more and more because I'm just not coping well --over all--with the path I am now on.

I recently lost my job (no great loss, frankly) and all these things make me wonder "okay, WHAT NOW?" What am I doing in this situation and is the lesson acceptance?  In spite of the many strange and wonderful things I experienced over my spiritual journey, this time I feel I am sinking in a spiritual quagmire. Truthfully, it feels like emotional and financial hell.

How could coaching help me? This just appears to be a no win situation.. I'm not a saint. I feel I cannot turn away, for I know if Mom were to go to a home, she would choose to be dead within 6 months or they would throw her out for her bad temper..lol. Like having one foot nailed to the floor, I haven't a clue how to "do" this one.

I  notice your letters are all dated a year ago or more, so ..perhaps I should consider this simply an opportunity to "vent"..lol.  But if you get this and answer, I certainly appreciate your time.  I like your spiritual "style" as evidenced in your writings. NO fluff, just spiritual reality.Thank you.

Barbara


Response:

Barbara,

In an email today I suggested that you call for a complimentary session so that we could discern if there was something a coaching relationship could offer you.

A general response to the situation you described follows:
When we are in a difficult situation we always have some power (even though we often feel powerless!)

We can either:
(1) Leave the situation (which does not appear to be an option for  you.)

(2) Change the situation.
    You have said that your sister is not of much help.  Have you investigated visiting nurses survices?  Somehow you need to provide some sort of "care" for yourself (time, relief, space, enjoyment, etc.). You will eventually "give out" if you cannot begin to give inwardly to satisfy some of your core needs.  
    You might also join a "caregivers' group" either in person or online.  This could help provide problem solutions and will also give comradery with others engaged in the process of parenting and caregiving their own parents.      

(3) Change the way we are thinking about the situation.
    This is where your spiritual work will come into play.  You talk about losing your job (very synchronistic at this time when your work seems to be your mother); and whether the the lesson in this situation is acceptance.  
     Have you been able to look at the situation from a Higher Self point of view?  What have you discovered?  Are you doing regular meditation, contemplation or prayer around the situation.  Are your recording dreams?  Are you journaling?  

     In a situation like this when one is feeling highly stressed and emotional it is very common to feel cut of from our own spiritual guidance (Dark Night of the Soul experience).  If we take steps to re-establish some regular spiritual practice the "lessons" around the situation will become clearer.  
     Do not read lessons as "punishment", but rather as...what can I learn about myself, my mother, the dynamics of our relationship, etc.  By opening ourselves to look at these questions from the physical, psychological, mental, spiritual and causal levels we can then become more open to receiving and recognizing answers and solutions when they appear.        

I believe that a way coaching could help is to provide a supportive partnership with a person who's only agenda is your well-being; who will help you discover what it is you want and need, and will hold you accountable when you commit to taking actions that will move you in your desired direction.  

I hope that my response has been helpful and I encourage you to contact me about the complimentary coaching session.

Love and Blessings,
Kathi


Date: 5/23/2002; 12:54:35 PM
Guest: Carol Reynders
Subject: Contacting you

I have tried sending you an email, but I keep receiving a NON-Deliverable message.
This is what I wrote in my email:
Hi Dr. Kathi!

A friend forwarded your website to me and I have found it very interesting.
I have done some coaching in the past with a spiritual/business coach.  I really enjoyed the tie in.  

I read your Questions, Reasons to Work with a Coach and Are You Ready.  Most of the information really hit home with me.

I would like to take advantage of your offer of a complimentary coaching session.  Since one of my larger issues is having enough money, I am not sure I could afford coaching right now, but I would like to at least take the opportunity to speak with you.

Thank you.
Carol Reynders


Date: 9/14/2001; 5:54:57 AM
Guest: Caren Creamer Young
Subject: Community

Hi Kathi,
I've started a web community for our classmates to communicate with @ other. If you are interested in joining, please send your email address to me.
Just finished reading "Left for Dead." The author mentioned the hotel where you are photographed.
Hope to hear from you soon
Caren


Date: 10/12/99; 1:00:03 PM
Guest: Jeanette Pugh
Subject: Set back

Dear, Kathi

In most of my dealing with people, whether it be at work or church, it appears to me that I'm targeted to be oppressed. Due to these continuious set backs, I am unable to keep employment nor have good relationships,which is the key to everything. Please, can you help?

Response:

Dear Janet,
If something is happening "most of the time" I would suggest that you look inward rather than to the outer world for the cause.  Where do you hold the belief that you deserve to be oppressed?  Think back through your history...childhood, teen years, young adult...are there memories of being "targeted to be oppressed?"  When you recall the incident there will probably be an energetic "rush" or "buzz" around it.

Your healing task is to separate the memory from the emotional energetic charge.  The only way I know to do this is through forgiveness.     There is a wonderful forgiveness exercise in Gloria Karpinski's book, "Where Two World's Touch", which she calls the Altar of Forgiveness.  Use it or some other exercise that will help you to forgive what has happened to you, the perpetrators and yourself.  When this is no longer an issue for you...when it is no longer a "hot button", you will not draw these experiences into
your life.

You can tell when you have healed an issue because you can think about it without the energetic rush that usually accompanies it.  If you want to know how many times you will need to do the forgiveness exercise...the answer is...as many times as it takes.  As I said, when you can recall the memory WITHOUT the emotion, you will know it is healed.  I hope this has helped.

Blessings,
Kathi


Date: 10/4/99; 2:31:42 PM
Guest: Mike DiAngelo
Subject: Scope

Is service limited to individuals or can organizations benefit too?

Response:

Dear Mike,
Organizations can definitly benefit from engaging a coach.  In the Winter'97 issue of "Public Personal Management", it was reported that training alone increases productivity by 22% while training plus coaching increases productivity by 88%.  

In his "Seven Principles of Highly Effective Business Coaching",
Lee Smith lists the following:

1. Coaching is the technology of human interaction and development.
2. Coaching is about developing an organizational culture of creative
   genius.      
3. Coaching is about the full development of the person or teams
   being coached.
4. Coaching focuses on the person being coached instead of on the
   Coach
5. Coaching is about the Coach creating an environment for
   productive development.
6. Coaching is about getting desired business results from the
   people side of business
7. Coaching success is measured by the progress, growth and      
   accelerated development of the individuals being coached.

I hope this answers your question.  Let me know if you would like the
subtext for each of the principles.  It presents a clear explanation of the effectiveness of coaching in achieving the objectives.  And, if you would like to discuss how coaching can benefit your organization, please send an email to dr_kathi@msn.com or call me at (330) 983-4970.

Warmly,
Kathi


Date: 7/29/99; 7:33:46 PM
Guest: Marty Crouch
Subject: Spiritual Practice

Dear Kathi,

How would you describe your daily spiritual practice?

Thanks,
Marty

Response:

Marty,

I endeavor to make all my moments a spiritual practice, by constantly returning to mindfulness. I maintain an attitude of gratitude, giving thanks often, either silently or aloud.  My house is a sanctuary containing pictures and statues of divine beings, so everywhere I look I have a reminder of the spiritual basis of everything I behold.

I have had periods of my life when I did much prayer and meditation, and other times when I did little.  I stay open for inward guidance about the need for specific practices.  Sometimes it is through changing what we are doing that we get to the next level of our development.

Kathi    
  



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